Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize