I want to have your abortion
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
