He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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