guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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