i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
