You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
