The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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