he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
