I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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