You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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