is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
