How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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