I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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