I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
