Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
