that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
