you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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