just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
