dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
