I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
