Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
