OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
