Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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