What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
