What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
