Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
