When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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