I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
