Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
