You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
