How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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