You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
