South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
