this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
