I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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