just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
