Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
