Yo dont text me then not text me
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
