dude i'm inner monologue high
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
