She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
