Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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