So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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