I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
There r osticjed everywhere
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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