They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
