so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
