I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
