the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
