In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
