I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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