we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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