that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
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