If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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