Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
