coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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