Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
