So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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