ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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