He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My life is pants optional.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
