Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
