She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
