No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
