You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
