I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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