I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize