I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
