I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
