He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
