I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
