I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
