theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
