Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We are all done wearing pants today
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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