What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
