My Higher Power is John Stamos
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
God, I missed his penis.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
