omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
